Drugzzzzzzzzzzz...and dead.

I'm so sick of people always talking about all the bad things that come from being addicted to a drug, hey I have dabbled in narcotics and I also have some friends and family members that are still drug addicts but I think all the gloom and doom associated with illegal drugs is a bit much, so I decided to try and put a positive spin on the subject, so today I give you:

5 Positive Things about Being a Drug Addict

#1 Smoking Crack is like the best diet ever. You can lose 10 pounds in 3 days with out doing a single sit-up. Especially effective if your going for that sunken cheekbones skeletal look

#2 Are you easily annoyed by friends and family always hanging around and calling all the time? Get hooked on Meth and take back your "me time". You will be amazed how quickly you regain your solitude, even if you call them they will not call you back!

#3 Suffering from boredom? Life a little slow lately? Try a heroin addiction. If you get hooked quick enough you will become dependent and quickly in debt to your dealer. Then the fun really begins. Late night threatening phone calls, ambush attacks, bricks through windows. Your doldrums will come to an end. It's a blast (well a shotgun blast) to owe a dealer money.

#4 Feeling the need to downsize? Want to simplify your life? Have you ever looked around your apt and thought "man I own too many electronics and appliances" well simply pick up a crackpipe and inhale. You will be amazed at the amount of square feet your living room actually has if you take away all of your possessions!

#5 Been thinking about getting a nose job? Dr 90210's rates a little steep? I have the answer. Buy and snort a pound of cocaine. Before you know it you will have burned out your nasal lining, destroyed the shape of your nose to the point where your Barbara Streisand Noggin will look like Michale Jack sons nose!

I just wanted to, in the interest of fairness point out that drugs are not all bad.